Suicide leaves us wondering "WHY". Those are answers we never get, even if a note is left behind. Some may call it selfish. I know it as illness. I grounded, stable, healthy mind isn't likely to commit suicide. I, unfortunately, know the feeling that proceed suicide. It is a very dark place and sight beyond the darkness is non-existence. I have been suicidal more than once while battling bipolar. It is not a fun place to be and even harder to fight away the feelings. I, unlike others was somehow able to talk my way out of it. I had no thoughts of punishing anyone, or getting back at someone.... it wasn't like that. it is more like not being able to handle the darkness and despair that is felt. I couldnt find a reason to live in that moment. I am happy the moment passed and I am alive. We who struggle with mental illness need to know there is help in that moment. You just have to hang on for one more moment, and one more... minute by minute and moment by moment. It is that touch and go. Have love for those around you.